TrisTheBarber’s 10 Dating Rules

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Here it is… My 10 Dating Rules. This isn’t a Top 10, nor is it in any particular order. Just some shit I had on my mind. I think my requests are pretty fair. I don’t ask for much… Can’t figure out why no one wants to go on a date with me :-\

#1 “Music comes first”
If I pick you up, we are listening to MY music until we get to our destination. You WILL NOT interrupt me singing! When I park, we will sit in the car until I’m done singing the song… or at least my favorite part. The date starts when I turn the car off

#2 “Don’t call without permission”
Yup… Permission. Me giving you my number isn’t grounds for you to just dial it all willy nilly! Text me first to see if I’m busy. 93% of the time I am too busy. So a simple courtesy text will help me prepare to answer your call. Otherwise I’m gonna be forced to ignore it and call you back when I’m free, which we all know is never.

#3 “I ain’t compliment you, so don’t be complimenting me”
I don’t know about y’all, but I feel uncomfortable when someone tells me I look good. I just don’t know how to respond. Do I just say “Thank you” or say something nice back? Too complicated. Keep that shit to yourself, or save it for a text when I can just brush it off.

#4 “You choose”
Don’t ask me to pick a spot. I’m indecisive. We’ll sit in the car the entire night if you leave it to me to choose where we go… Way cheaper anyways. Susan B. Anthony ain’t fight so y’all could sit back and let a man decide where you go out to eat. Take advantage of your rights!

#5 “Close your mouth”
Eat with your mouth SHUT. Absolutely no sound should be coming out your mouth while you’re chewing /eating. That shit is the biggest turn off. If I hear your saliva juices squishing the food around in your mouth, you’ll hear my broken exhaust as I’m driving off while you’re waiting for me to come back from the bathroom.

#6 “Do your homework”
Look thru my Twitter, FB and IG. Take notes. That way you know what I like already and we can spare me from having to talk so much. *Added bonus to stalking… You can see how crazy I am in advance so my actions don’t come as a surprise*

#7 “Don’t stalk me”
The followup to Rule #6. I know, I know… But hear me out. Pre-stalking is acceptable. To prepare you. But once you meet me, stay out my shit. If I don’t answer your text right away and you see me promoting music on Twitter, you’re gonna be upset. Save the headache.

#8 “No club dates”
Pretty self-explanatory. There is no way in Hell we’re going to a club for a date! You want a reason? Besides the fact that I hate clubs, it’s too loud inside. How you supposed to hear about all my awesomeness with Trinidad James and 2 Chainz blaring thru your ear drums? Let’s stick to a restaurant or nice bar. Thanks.

#9 “Maybe he’s busy”
Keep saying that to yourself everyday, throughout the day, and we might make it to a 3rd date. Trust me… The more you tell yourself this, the less you’ll hate me.

#10 “Be yourself”
Ok, for the last one I’ll be serious. Please don’t front like you’re into everything I’m into, just to impress me. I’ll know. I’m into a lot of unpopular shit so I wouldn’t expect you to like what I like. Just be honest.

So there you have it. Hopefully I ain’t bore you to death with my list. If I did, you’re welcome… I took you out of your misery. REMEMBER… keep your standards high, set your dating rules, and make them shits CLEAR. No matter how outrageous they are. Anyone wanna go out for dinner?

@TrisTheBarber

The Beautiful Tornado

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There’s no question that a tornado is appealing… It can be intriguing and even be a beautiful sight from a distance. But don’t attempt to get too close or befriend it. For tornadoes are still harmful and leave a trail of destruction everywhere they go. Now that’s not to say the tornado doesn’t have a heart… It’s just the nature of the tornado to destroy everything in its path. There is a purpose for tornadoes, as there is with everything else in life. You just might not ever know it. And the tornado may not be purposely causing the damage. It probably isn’t even aware of how harmful it is. A tormented soul trapped in the form of 120 mph winds. Also beware of the eye of the tornado… It can be so peaceful that you’d swear the tornado has changed into a calm, beautiful breeze. But it will never change. Whether the eye hovers over you for only an hour or for 6 years, the tornado will eventually return full force. So admire from afar, admire from the comfort of your television. Allow the tornado to be alone so when the devastation hits, no lives are affected. A tornado isn’t so harmful when the only thing in its path is an empty field. But NEVER allow one into your life, do not attempt to save one, as they WILL bring you down with them.
– Tris The Tornado

Is It Possible To Be Too Generous?

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Is it possible to be too generous? That was the topic of discussion during my 59 min conversation with my entrepreneur brother Sxoobie (@WhoIsVince) on Friday.
For those that don’t know much about me, I have a reputation for being overly generous and too caring. If you let my brother-from-another @Embelievable1 tell it, I once shared a single french fry with a group of 4 friends! Lol.

So Sxoob started by saying I’m exactly like my Dad. Who drives himself crazy trying to take care of others, and puts everyones’ needs before his. I’ve heard this a million times. And whether I try to deny it or not, it’s true. But my Dad is also the greatest man I know. If anything, I have his ways but I also know where to draw the line because I watched him and learned from his mistakes. Over the past few months I’ve been told by those closest to me to stop trying to take care of others when I don’t even have my life in control yet. And most of them make valid arguments. But I’ve made it this far being who I am and I know I’m doing the right thing (Actually I haven’t made it anywhere yet so that’s probably a bad reference). But that’s a whole different discussion -__-

So I basically told Sxoob, the more you do for people, the more they’ll do for you in the longrun. We went back and forth making points for both sides. Then I told him “Imagine 2 brothers. Both have $500. One is tight with his money. Never helps his loved ones and holds his $500. The other is always willing to share his money, even if he needs it himself. He loans out that $500 evenly to 10 of his loved ones who are in need, no questions asked. Over the next week, the generous one gets all of his money back. 2 weeks later, both of these men still have $500 but now they hit a roadblock in life and need $1000. The stingy brother has no one to help him, whereas the sharing man has 10 people willing to give him whatever he needs.”
Sxoobie countered with “Imagine those same 2 brothers. Stingy brother keeps his money. Sharing brother loans his out. But a career-changing opportunity arises, and a $500 investment is the only way to take advantage of it. Now the selfish brother can better his life while the other brother is stuck missing another opportunity, taking care of others.” Damn…

So we came to the conclusion there’s really no right way. Either way is a gamble. The best way would probably be to help only when you can, and when it won’t affect your own life. As with everything else in life, there must always be balance.