More Than Rhymes (My Vision)

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An introduction… To who I am.
I’m not a rapper selling music about moving them grams.
Not here to talk about the guns I have or shooting a man.
Every bar I spit reflects my life as true as it can.
I have a message, and I will express it.
Some positivity mixed with this depression.
You won’t hear me call a woman a bitch, but I’m no saint.
Got my dirt but I choose colors to show the image I paint.
Holding a Pen and a Pad, Homie I been in the lab
Cooking up hits. And when I blow then I could sit and just laugh
About the good and the bad. Nigga I withstood the jabs
and I walked out the fight unscathed. Now I’m the victor AT LAST!
It’s MY TIME! Tho I ain’t tryin to shine.
It’s time for them to see my vision, this is more than rhymes.
It’s “pay your mortgage” time, Make sure your daughters’ fine.
And get our sons to college. Knowledge more than sure to find.
I’m spreading wisdom like a salesman door-to-door wit mine.
And I won’t quit until they hear me by the borderline.
So If I never sell a record I’ll be more than fine.
To touch a couple lives with words will make ya boy defined.
You see I’m smarter than your average, wise for my years b.
I try to share my thoughts but it’s like nobody hears me.
It’s clearly, getting to me so severely.
I’m wary of the very thing that’s carried me and steered me…
Nigga I been there, been scared. Friends lost, been teared!
Battled with my own addiction. Been loved, been feared.
Been down enough paths to give you all direction.
So when you’re feeling lost, feel free to come and collect it.

“I will be heard… Even if they don’t wanna hear me… It’s only the beginning”
-@TrisTheBarber

The Beautiful Tornado

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There’s no question that a tornado is appealing… It can be intriguing and even be a beautiful sight from a distance. But don’t attempt to get too close or befriend it. For tornadoes are still harmful and leave a trail of destruction everywhere they go. Now that’s not to say the tornado doesn’t have a heart… It’s just the nature of the tornado to destroy everything in its path. There is a purpose for tornadoes, as there is with everything else in life. You just might not ever know it. And the tornado may not be purposely causing the damage. It probably isn’t even aware of how harmful it is. A tormented soul trapped in the form of 120 mph winds. Also beware of the eye of the tornado… It can be so peaceful that you’d swear the tornado has changed into a calm, beautiful breeze. But it will never change. Whether the eye hovers over you for only an hour or for 6 years, the tornado will eventually return full force. So admire from afar, admire from the comfort of your television. Allow the tornado to be alone so when the devastation hits, no lives are affected. A tornado isn’t so harmful when the only thing in its path is an empty field. But NEVER allow one into your life, do not attempt to save one, as they WILL bring you down with them.
– Tris The Tornado

Is It Possible To Be Too Generous?

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Is it possible to be too generous? That was the topic of discussion during my 59 min conversation with my entrepreneur brother Sxoobie (@WhoIsVince) on Friday.
For those that don’t know much about me, I have a reputation for being overly generous and too caring. If you let my brother-from-another @Embelievable1 tell it, I once shared a single french fry with a group of 4 friends! Lol.

So Sxoob started by saying I’m exactly like my Dad. Who drives himself crazy trying to take care of others, and puts everyones’ needs before his. I’ve heard this a million times. And whether I try to deny it or not, it’s true. But my Dad is also the greatest man I know. If anything, I have his ways but I also know where to draw the line because I watched him and learned from his mistakes. Over the past few months I’ve been told by those closest to me to stop trying to take care of others when I don’t even have my life in control yet. And most of them make valid arguments. But I’ve made it this far being who I am and I know I’m doing the right thing (Actually I haven’t made it anywhere yet so that’s probably a bad reference). But that’s a whole different discussion -__-

So I basically told Sxoob, the more you do for people, the more they’ll do for you in the longrun. We went back and forth making points for both sides. Then I told him “Imagine 2 brothers. Both have $500. One is tight with his money. Never helps his loved ones and holds his $500. The other is always willing to share his money, even if he needs it himself. He loans out that $500 evenly to 10 of his loved ones who are in need, no questions asked. Over the next week, the generous one gets all of his money back. 2 weeks later, both of these men still have $500 but now they hit a roadblock in life and need $1000. The stingy brother has no one to help him, whereas the sharing man has 10 people willing to give him whatever he needs.”
Sxoobie countered with “Imagine those same 2 brothers. Stingy brother keeps his money. Sharing brother loans his out. But a career-changing opportunity arises, and a $500 investment is the only way to take advantage of it. Now the selfish brother can better his life while the other brother is stuck missing another opportunity, taking care of others.” Damn…

So we came to the conclusion there’s really no right way. Either way is a gamble. The best way would probably be to help only when you can, and when it won’t affect your own life. As with everything else in life, there must always be balance.

Lyfe Jennings – If Tomorrow Never Comes

I have to share this song with yall. I’ve been singing this nonstop for 4 days straight. Lyfe Jennings is my biggest inspiration for my writing. Nothing but truth in his lyrics. I wish I wrote this one…

“If Tomorrow Never Comes”

Tell my mama, I know it’s been a while since I called you
Cause I was jealous cuz you favored my brother.
Though we disagreed I always loved ya and
Tell my baby mama it wasn’t my intention to hurt her
Hope you find someone that deserve ya
I hope there’s no hard feelings
If I could rewrite one sentence of my life
I would write the words I never say
Tell you I love you every single day
See if I could somehow turn back the hands of time
I wouldn’t waste a moment arguing
I’ll never put you through that shit again

[Chorus]
Cuz If tomorrow never comes
And you never see me again
I don’t want yo last memories of me
To be filled with negativity
See if tomorrow never comes
All that fussing and fighting
Wont mean nothing when it’s said and done
If tomorrow never comes

And tell my auntie, that I was the one who broke the TV
I know that it happened in 93′
But I just had to get it off my chest, I guess
And tell my kids, that they will be especially missed
And if there’s anything they should learned from this
Is life is a gift tomorrows not promised no
If I could rewrite one sentence of my life
I would write the words I never say
Tell you I loved you every single day
See if I could turn back the hands of time
I would say what’s on my mind
And tell you thank you for being in my life

[Chorus]
Cuz If tomorrow never comes
And you don’t see my face again (see my face again)
I don’t want yo last memories of me
To be filled with negativity
See if tomorrow never comes
All that fussing and fighting
Wont mean nothing when it’s said and done
If tomorrow never comes

I take it back, I take back every mean words that I ever said
Out of anger (take it back), and every time I hurt her (take it back)
I take it back, I take back all the disagreements
All the hurt feelings, not believing in you (not believing in you)
Tell me what can I do? But apologize to you
If tomorrow never comes
My apologies (my apologies)
For if tomorrow never comes (if tomorrow never comes)
I’ll make sure that I’m the one who says how much I can’t
I wish I was there

– Lyfe Jennings

Diary of an “ASSHOLE”… Or a Busy Man

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I’m very aware that this is gonna stir up some controversy. But the people this will offend are the same ones that have been upset with me lately, so what do I have to lose. I gotta get this off my chest. I’m just really having trouble understanding how my lack of keeping in touch has upset so many people. Maybe I see things differently. So I’m turning to my blog to see if someone can offer me some advice or give me insight on the situation. I’m also open to the idea that I’m crazy. Lol.

Quick rundown… I can be a very social person at times. I have a lot of REAL friends. People I trust with my life. People I’ve known since elementary school. And we can go weeks at a time without talking, but when we do, it’s all love. That’s just part of life. We’re all busy taking care of our families. I’m a very devoted Dad. And I don’t put anything before them when I have them. So my true friends know not to even try to get at me when I have them. We’ll talk when we talk.

Sooo… all the #NewPeople in my life have been really upset with me. And I truly don’t understand why. I mean, they express why… but I don’t see the logic behind it. According to the hate mail I’ve received over the past few months, I’m a self-centered, inconsiderate friend who doesn’t know how to show people that I cherish their friendship. And this all stems from the fact that I apparently NEVER reach out to anyone FIRST. (I ALWAYS respond tho, I don’t ignore anyone). Now I can understand how that could bother someone. They feel like I must not be thinking about them. Or that they’re bothering me. I get it. But I’ve always been very clear and vocal about how busy my life is. And in the beginning everyone claims they can handle it. Then they realize that I WASN’T joking, I’m really ALWAYS busy! And that’s when I become an ASSHOLE. But what did I really do wrong? I don’t text you as often as you’d like?

So I went to the deep trenches of the Forest to speak to the old, wise, gray-haired @Appul_Juice for advice. Thru our talk I found that the only #NewPeople that didn’t get upset with me were those that were extremely busy as well. And we came to the conclusion that only people that are as busy as I am could understand. Jay always comes thru with the wisdom.

Now I’m aware of how many people care about me, and are looking out for my well-being. And I appreciate it. I REALLY DO! But if you’re really out to help me, your friendship shouldn’t come with the stress of me having to worry that I didn’t text you enough this week. It may seem like just a text to you, but look at it from my point of view… I have between 25-30 people text me daily. Roughly 12 people Inbox me on FB. And they all feel the same way. “Why cant you just say Hi?”. That’s about 40 people. And what conversation ends at just “Hi”… None! So I have to hold conversation with 40 people MINIMUM daily to avoid being an ASSHOLE. Lol. Then there’s the people that look for me on social networks to see if I’m on there, just so they can say “I saw you like a pic on FB so you can’t be THAT busy!” Call me crazy, but that’s borderline stalking…

Oh, and now that I’m not working I should be able to devote more time to small-talk? That’s definitely my first priority when I don’t even know how I’m gonna feed my kids the next day, or how I’m gonna get gas money to drive to pick my kids up!

Listen: I am truly blessed to have so many people that care about me and are concerned and willing to help me thru this rough time… I don’t take that for granted. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that I’m extremely stressed and busy. If I forget to text you for a few days, don’t take it personal. I do care about everyone and I wish I could talk to everyone every day, but it’s physically not possible. I’m trying to live my life productively, and the first step is being on my phone LESS. If you have so much time on your hands, why does it matter if you have to initiate conversation? I respond, right?! And when I have to worry about who I’m upsetting in the midst of trying to scrounge up change to fill my gas tank, it makes me more stressed. Helping me financially while adding stress to my life doesn’t work for me. I will remove anyone that adds stress to my already stressful life from here on. Sorry if I hurt you.  
-TrisTheAsshole aka TrisTheBarber

Real Talk with GOD

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Mind full of Suicidal thoughts…
Then I get mad at myself for being selfish,
But LORD, I pulled YOU aside to talk.
And you had no words for me, not even a nod.
So I took it as you were too busy and being a snob.
I thought of all the times I did the right thing, believing in GOD.
Now I’m pleading at your doorstep, you know I needed this job.
Or what about the time I was heartless and stealing for props
I listened to you and didn’t do it, even tho he was easy to rob.

I mean, I’ve changed my ways…
I’m still alive so I’m thankful for these rainy days.
And after every storm a rainbow comes to take its place.
But how much longer will it be before you make your waves?
I know I’ve done wrong, but I’m a much better man.
I’ve survived some hard conditions only tough leather can
I went from “Never can” to “settling” and now I know I’m “better than”
Success at hand… I’ve outgrown that rough mess of a man.

So why does it feel like you’re never even here for me?
Sometimes I wonder if you ever even cared for me!
Put my faith in you, but didn’t feel your love for me
Bet if I revert to my bad ways, you won’t forget to punish me!
So can you blame me for feeling rejected?
A child will only do good for so long if he sees that no one respects it
I don’t need praise for all my deeds but they can’t always seem neglected
So can you show me I’m doing right WITHOUT being requested?!

I’m scared… I need you more than ever right now
Nothing but dark thoughts inside, I’m with the Devil right now.
Stressed to the point I feel I’d rather be in heaven right now.
Everyday i wish my life was over, End it right now
This is REAL TALK, I know it sounds bad…
But what’s the point of lying? You know what’s inside my head.
I could sit here and tell you just what you wanna hear.
Instead I tell you how I feel and PRAY I catch your ear
-@TrisTheBarber

Walking Contradiction

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“After this one, you’re either gonna love me…
Or you’re gonna love me.
The choice is yours… No pressure”

Troubled Soul… His gun he loads.
Ticking timebomb ready to explode.
Heart is cold just under 40 below.
Inside his chest it snows, organs already froze.
Ignore their calls then wonder why I’m alone.
Now things are complicated between me and my phone.
Tell em DON’T call, but hurt they actually listen.
So I’m ANGRY when she call, feeling sad that she didn’t.
Gloom… I lock MYSELF in this room.
And take away all these windows. 4 empty walls, My VIEW!
Feeling hopeless and inspired at the same time.
I start writing, end up quitting on the same LINE!
Damn, I missed her call… phone on silent.
But I don’t waste my breath, cuz she won’t buy it.
She knows I wasn’t tryin. Knows that I looked right by it.
Every time I hit “Ignore”, she knows it and knows I’m lyin. SHIT!

Some say I’m too nice, some say an Asshole!
I say I’m Bipolar tryna let the LATTER go.
When I say I’m smarter than you or tell you that I’m a Genius,
I don’t say it cuz it’s funny, I say it because I mean it!
Humble as they come, tho I’m better than most.
So I sit back, watch em try. Laugh at them as they boast.
Dying to be loved but I’m quick to run away from it.
Know she the right one… STILL want more space from her.
So now her days numbered, but I won’t tell her that.
Instead I dodge her calls, treat her like a sales rep.
I’m a piece of SHIT! But I love me.
At least that’s what I say… so they don’t judge me.
Loner that wants company. Shy, craving attention.
Hate lookin in mirrors but stay taking nude pictures.
Practice peace while Anger is my addiction.
It’s like I’m battling myself and this life is a contradiction.

“I’m not much different from yall…
Difference is, I admit to all my flaws.
You should try it some time”
-@TrisTheBarber

*DISCLAIMER: The image above is an artistic representation of the mood I felt when writing this.

This is ART… meant to catch your eye, then your mind. I do not condone drug use or the use of guns for violence.*