McDonalds… The secret is out. You will no longer sucker my people into buying your small cup of orange juice for $2 when we can purchase a bottle of Simply Orange for $2.50 at Target.
We all know that McDonalds orange juice is one of Earth’s greatest drinks in the morning. Some of us wake up early on a Saturday without having to work. Just to catch Mickey D’s breakfast and rush thru the food to get to that drink. Not to say that a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit isn’t heavenly in it’s own right. But the people love their Mickey O.J. But what makes it so special? We never ask, we don’t care. Just give us our fix and we’ll be on our merry way.
Well today I accidently found the secret. I ordered my #3 as usual, peeked in the bag to act like I was checking to see if my order was right (No one ever really checks), and sped off. Ate my sandwich and hashbrown. Life is Good. Went to drink my O.J. and realized the lady ain’t give me a straw! Damn, I guess I can drive and drink the juice with no lid… Luckily I got stuck at a long light. I ripped the lid off and poured the blissful drink down my throat… and almost spit it out! It tasted horrible. I tried to sip a little more, but it wasn’t happening. I put the lid on, sat it in the cupholder, and was home within a few minutes. Got in the house and found that I had the straw. I put it in my pocket when the server gave it to me -__- I told myself I had to finish the terrible O.J. because I paid for the shit, so I put the straw in, and just like that… The angels were singing again! The drink I wouldn’t share with my starving kids was BACK! DRINKING ORANGE JUICE THROUGH A STRAW MAKES IT TASTE BETTER.
There’s no other explanation. McDonalds, if this gets out, you’re outta commission. I don’t know how powerful Mickey D’s is, but if I disappear, you guys can assume this Blog post is why. I hope you all take this info, invest in some straws, and start loving Orange Juice from the comfort of your fridge. Enjoy!