TrisTheBarber’s 10 Dating Rules


Here it is… My 10 Dating Rules. This isn’t a Top 10, nor is it in any particular order. Just some shit I had on my mind. I think my requests are pretty fair. I don’t ask for much… Can’t figure out why no one wants to go on a date with me :-\

#1 “Music comes first”
If I pick you up, we are listening to MY music until we get to our destination. You WILL NOT interrupt me singing! When I park, we will sit in the car until I’m done singing the song… or at least my favorite part. The date starts when I turn the car off

#2 “Don’t call without permission”
Yup… Permission. Me giving you my number isn’t grounds for you to just dial it all willy nilly! Text me first to see if I’m busy. 93% of the time I am too busy. So a simple courtesy text will help me prepare to answer your call. Otherwise I’m gonna be forced to ignore it and call you back when I’m free, which we all know is never.

#3 “I ain’t compliment you, so don’t be complimenting me”
I don’t know about y’all, but I feel uncomfortable when someone tells me I look good. I just don’t know how to respond. Do I just say “Thank you” or say something nice back? Too complicated. Keep that shit to yourself, or save it for a text when I can just brush it off.

#4 “You choose”
Don’t ask me to pick a spot. I’m indecisive. We’ll sit in the car the entire night if you leave it to me to choose where we go… Way cheaper anyways. Susan B. Anthony ain’t fight so y’all could sit back and let a man decide where you go out to eat. Take advantage of your rights!

#5 “Close your mouth”
Eat with your mouth SHUT. Absolutely no sound should be coming out your mouth while you’re chewing /eating. That shit is the biggest turn off. If I hear your saliva juices squishing the food around in your mouth, you’ll hear my broken exhaust as I’m driving off while you’re waiting for me to come back from the bathroom.

#6 “Do your homework”
Look thru my Twitter, FB and IG. Take notes. That way you know what I like already and we can spare me from having to talk so much. *Added bonus to stalking… You can see how crazy I am in advance so my actions don’t come as a surprise*

#7 “Don’t stalk me”
The followup to Rule #6. I know, I know… But hear me out. Pre-stalking is acceptable. To prepare you. But once you meet me, stay out my shit. If I don’t answer your text right away and you see me promoting music on Twitter, you’re gonna be upset. Save the headache.

#8 “No club dates”
Pretty self-explanatory. There is no way in Hell we’re going to a club for a date! You want a reason? Besides the fact that I hate clubs, it’s too loud inside. How you supposed to hear about all my awesomeness with Trinidad James and 2 Chainz blaring thru your ear drums? Let’s stick to a restaurant or nice bar. Thanks.

#9 “Maybe he’s busy”
Keep saying that to yourself everyday, throughout the day, and we might make it to a 3rd date. Trust me… The more you tell yourself this, the less you’ll hate me.

#10 “Be yourself”
Ok, for the last one I’ll be serious. Please don’t front like you’re into everything I’m into, just to impress me. I’ll know. I’m into a lot of unpopular shit so I wouldn’t expect you to like what I like. Just be honest.

So there you have it. Hopefully I ain’t bore you to death with my list. If I did, you’re welcome… I took you out of your misery. REMEMBER… keep your standards high, set your dating rules, and make them shits CLEAR. No matter how outrageous they are. Anyone wanna go out for dinner?



The Beautiful Tornado


There’s no question that a tornado is appealing… It can be intriguing and even be a beautiful sight from a distance. But don’t attempt to get too close or befriend it. For tornadoes are still harmful and leave a trail of destruction everywhere they go. Now that’s not to say the tornado doesn’t have a heart… It’s just the nature of the tornado to destroy everything in its path. There is a purpose for tornadoes, as there is with everything else in life. You just might not ever know it. And the tornado may not be purposely causing the damage. It probably isn’t even aware of how harmful it is. A tormented soul trapped in the form of 120 mph winds. Also beware of the eye of the tornado… It can be so peaceful that you’d swear the tornado has changed into a calm, beautiful breeze. But it will never change. Whether the eye hovers over you for only an hour or for 6 years, the tornado will eventually return full force. So admire from afar, admire from the comfort of your television. Allow the tornado to be alone so when the devastation hits, no lives are affected. A tornado isn’t so harmful when the only thing in its path is an empty field. But NEVER allow one into your life, do not attempt to save one, as they WILL bring you down with them.
– Tris The Tornado

Is It Possible To Be Too Generous?


Is it possible to be too generous? That was the topic of discussion during my 59 min conversation with my entrepreneur brother Sxoobie (@WhoIsVince) on Friday.
For those that don’t know much about me, I have a reputation for being overly generous and too caring. If you let my brother-from-another @Embelievable1 tell it, I once shared a single french fry with a group of 4 friends! Lol.

So Sxoob started by saying I’m exactly like my Dad. Who drives himself crazy trying to take care of others, and puts everyones’ needs before his. I’ve heard this a million times. And whether I try to deny it or not, it’s true. But my Dad is also the greatest man I know. If anything, I have his ways but I also know where to draw the line because I watched him and learned from his mistakes. Over the past few months I’ve been told by those closest to me to stop trying to take care of others when I don’t even have my life in control yet. And most of them make valid arguments. But I’ve made it this far being who I am and I know I’m doing the right thing (Actually I haven’t made it anywhere yet so that’s probably a bad reference). But that’s a whole different discussion -__-

So I basically told Sxoob, the more you do for people, the more they’ll do for you in the longrun. We went back and forth making points for both sides. Then I told him “Imagine 2 brothers. Both have $500. One is tight with his money. Never helps his loved ones and holds his $500. The other is always willing to share his money, even if he needs it himself. He loans out that $500 evenly to 10 of his loved ones who are in need, no questions asked. Over the next week, the generous one gets all of his money back. 2 weeks later, both of these men still have $500 but now they hit a roadblock in life and need $1000. The stingy brother has no one to help him, whereas the sharing man has 10 people willing to give him whatever he needs.”
Sxoobie countered with “Imagine those same 2 brothers. Stingy brother keeps his money. Sharing brother loans his out. But a career-changing opportunity arises, and a $500 investment is the only way to take advantage of it. Now the selfish brother can better his life while the other brother is stuck missing another opportunity, taking care of others.” Damn…

So we came to the conclusion there’s really no right way. Either way is a gamble. The best way would probably be to help only when you can, and when it won’t affect your own life. As with everything else in life, there must always be balance.

Diary of an “ASSHOLE”… Or a Busy Man


I’m very aware that this is gonna stir up some controversy. But the people this will offend are the same ones that have been upset with me lately, so what do I have to lose. I gotta get this off my chest. I’m just really having trouble understanding how my lack of keeping in touch has upset so many people. Maybe I see things differently. So I’m turning to my blog to see if someone can offer me some advice or give me insight on the situation. I’m also open to the idea that I’m crazy. Lol.

Quick rundown… I can be a very social person at times. I have a lot of REAL friends. People I trust with my life. People I’ve known since elementary school. And we can go weeks at a time without talking, but when we do, it’s all love. That’s just part of life. We’re all busy taking care of our families. I’m a very devoted Dad. And I don’t put anything before them when I have them. So my true friends know not to even try to get at me when I have them. We’ll talk when we talk.

Sooo… all the #NewPeople in my life have been really upset with me. And I truly don’t understand why. I mean, they express why… but I don’t see the logic behind it. According to the hate mail I’ve received over the past few months, I’m a self-centered, inconsiderate friend who doesn’t know how to show people that I cherish their friendship. And this all stems from the fact that I apparently NEVER reach out to anyone FIRST. (I ALWAYS respond tho, I don’t ignore anyone). Now I can understand how that could bother someone. They feel like I must not be thinking about them. Or that they’re bothering me. I get it. But I’ve always been very clear and vocal about how busy my life is. And in the beginning everyone claims they can handle it. Then they realize that I WASN’T joking, I’m really ALWAYS busy! And that’s when I become an ASSHOLE. But what did I really do wrong? I don’t text you as often as you’d like?

So I went to the deep trenches of the Forest to speak to the old, wise, gray-haired @Appul_Juice for advice. Thru our talk I found that the only #NewPeople that didn’t get upset with me were those that were extremely busy as well. And we came to the conclusion that only people that are as busy as I am could understand. Jay always comes thru with the wisdom.

Now I’m aware of how many people care about me, and are looking out for my well-being. And I appreciate it. I REALLY DO! But if you’re really out to help me, your friendship shouldn’t come with the stress of me having to worry that I didn’t text you enough this week. It may seem like just a text to you, but look at it from my point of view… I have between 25-30 people text me daily. Roughly 12 people Inbox me on FB. And they all feel the same way. “Why cant you just say Hi?”. That’s about 40 people. And what conversation ends at just “Hi”… None! So I have to hold conversation with 40 people MINIMUM daily to avoid being an ASSHOLE. Lol. Then there’s the people that look for me on social networks to see if I’m on there, just so they can say “I saw you like a pic on FB so you can’t be THAT busy!” Call me crazy, but that’s borderline stalking…

Oh, and now that I’m not working I should be able to devote more time to small-talk? That’s definitely my first priority when I don’t even know how I’m gonna feed my kids the next day, or how I’m gonna get gas money to drive to pick my kids up!

Listen: I am truly blessed to have so many people that care about me and are concerned and willing to help me thru this rough time… I don’t take that for granted. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that I’m extremely stressed and busy. If I forget to text you for a few days, don’t take it personal. I do care about everyone and I wish I could talk to everyone every day, but it’s physically not possible. I’m trying to live my life productively, and the first step is being on my phone LESS. If you have so much time on your hands, why does it matter if you have to initiate conversation? I respond, right?! And when I have to worry about who I’m upsetting in the midst of trying to scrounge up change to fill my gas tank, it makes me more stressed. Helping me financially while adding stress to my life doesn’t work for me. I will remove anyone that adds stress to my already stressful life from here on. Sorry if I hurt you.  
-TrisTheAsshole aka TrisTheBarber

Nigga with a message…

Take a look into the mind of a Self-Appointed Genius. The thoughts of a highly-opinionated music lover. Anti-“Popular”. Chances are… If you like it, I don’t. Not looking for fame, Just a nigga with a message, attempting to spread my knowledge and change the World. Future Nobel Peace Price Winner. Read, Understand, Learn, & Share