Mind full of Suicidal thoughts…
Then I get mad at myself for being selfish,
But LORD, I pulled YOU aside to talk.
And you had no words for me, not even a nod.
So I took it as you were too busy and being a snob.
I thought of all the times I did the right thing, believing in GOD.
Now I’m pleading at your doorstep, you know I needed this job.
Or what about the time I was heartless and stealing for props
I listened to you and didn’t do it, even tho he was easy to rob.
I mean, I’ve changed my ways…
I’m still alive so I’m thankful for these rainy days.
And after every storm a rainbow comes to take its place.
But how much longer will it be before you make your waves?
I know I’ve done wrong, but I’m a much better man.
I’ve survived some hard conditions only tough leather can
I went from “Never can” to “settling” and now I know I’m “better than”
Success at hand… I’ve outgrown that rough mess of a man.
So why does it feel like you’re never even here for me?
Sometimes I wonder if you ever even cared for me!
Put my faith in you, but didn’t feel your love for me
Bet if I revert to my bad ways, you won’t forget to punish me!
So can you blame me for feeling rejected?
A child will only do good for so long if he sees that no one respects it
I don’t need praise for all my deeds but they can’t always seem neglected
So can you show me I’m doing right WITHOUT being requested?!
I’m scared… I need you more than ever right now
Nothing but dark thoughts inside, I’m with the Devil right now.
Stressed to the point I feel I’d rather be in heaven right now.
Everyday i wish my life was over, End it right now
This is REAL TALK, I know it sounds bad…
But what’s the point of lying? You know what’s inside my head.
I could sit here and tell you just what you wanna hear.
Instead I tell you how I feel and PRAY I catch your ear