I’m very aware that this is gonna stir up some controversy. But the people this will offend are the same ones that have been upset with me lately, so what do I have to lose. I gotta get this off my chest. I’m just really having trouble understanding how my lack of keeping in touch has upset so many people. Maybe I see things differently. So I’m turning to my blog to see if someone can offer me some advice or give me insight on the situation. I’m also open to the idea that I’m crazy. Lol.
Quick rundown… I can be a very social person at times. I have a lot of REAL friends. People I trust with my life. People I’ve known since elementary school. And we can go weeks at a time without talking, but when we do, it’s all love. That’s just part of life. We’re all busy taking care of our families. I’m a very devoted Dad. And I don’t put anything before them when I have them. So my true friends know not to even try to get at me when I have them. We’ll talk when we talk.
Sooo… all the #NewPeople in my life have been really upset with me. And I truly don’t understand why. I mean, they express why… but I don’t see the logic behind it. According to the hate mail I’ve received over the past few months, I’m a self-centered, inconsiderate friend who doesn’t know how to show people that I cherish their friendship. And this all stems from the fact that I apparently NEVER reach out to anyone FIRST. (I ALWAYS respond tho, I don’t ignore anyone). Now I can understand how that could bother someone. They feel like I must not be thinking about them. Or that they’re bothering me. I get it. But I’ve always been very clear and vocal about how busy my life is. And in the beginning everyone claims they can handle it. Then they realize that I WASN’T joking, I’m really ALWAYS busy! And that’s when I become an ASSHOLE. But what did I really do wrong? I don’t text you as often as you’d like?
So I went to the deep trenches of the Forest to speak to the old, wise, gray-haired @Appul_Juice for advice. Thru our talk I found that the only #NewPeople that didn’t get upset with me were those that were extremely busy as well. And we came to the conclusion that only people that are as busy as I am could understand. Jay always comes thru with the wisdom.
Now I’m aware of how many people care about me, and are looking out for my well-being. And I appreciate it. I REALLY DO! But if you’re really out to help me, your friendship shouldn’t come with the stress of me having to worry that I didn’t text you enough this week. It may seem like just a text to you, but look at it from my point of view… I have between 25-30 people text me daily. Roughly 12 people Inbox me on FB. And they all feel the same way. “Why cant you just say Hi?”. That’s about 40 people. And what conversation ends at just “Hi”… None! So I have to hold conversation with 40 people MINIMUM daily to avoid being an ASSHOLE. Lol. Then there’s the people that look for me on social networks to see if I’m on there, just so they can say “I saw you like a pic on FB so you can’t be THAT busy!” Call me crazy, but that’s borderline stalking…
Oh, and now that I’m not working I should be able to devote more time to small-talk? That’s definitely my first priority when I don’t even know how I’m gonna feed my kids the next day, or how I’m gonna get gas money to drive to pick my kids up!
Listen: I am truly blessed to have so many people that care about me and are concerned and willing to help me thru this rough time… I don’t take that for granted. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that I’m extremely stressed and busy. If I forget to text you for a few days, don’t take it personal. I do care about everyone and I wish I could talk to everyone every day, but it’s physically not possible. I’m trying to live my life productively, and the first step is being on my phone LESS. If you have so much time on your hands, why does it matter if you have to initiate conversation? I respond, right?! And when I have to worry about who I’m upsetting in the midst of trying to scrounge up change to fill my gas tank, it makes me more stressed. Helping me financially while adding stress to my life doesn’t work for me. I will remove anyone that adds stress to my already stressful life from here on. Sorry if I hurt you.
-TrisTheAsshole aka TrisTheBarber